Thoughts on ‘eternity’.

Recently my friends and I headed down to the beautiful city of London to celebrate the end of exams and the beginning of the rest of our lives. The trip was so relaxing and it was lovely to laugh and chat with my friends without having the constant feeling of guilt that we should be doing some more coursework, or revision. Whilst sat along the embankment, overlooking the Thames and the London eye, conversation turned to fears, and progressively death – how morbid of us, I know! However, one of the girls pointed out that there was no point in being too afraid of death because there were millions of years before we were born, and there will be an eternity without us. This was a very good point, and one that has got me thinking a lot. The concept of death and eternity doesn’t necessarily scare me, however it has made me question the whole purpose of my being on earth (which is pretty terrifying when you over think it in bed at night). In essence all we are are ‘blips’ in time, in the grand scheme of things I am completely irrelevant to everything which happened before me and everything which will continue to happen once I leave the earth - and I don’t want that to come across as though I’m seeking attention or that I’m unhappy with the way my life is because I’m definitely not. However it seems slightly discouraging to me that any achievements that happen in mine or my loved ones lives are only a millisecond within millions of lifetimes. The worst possibility I can think of right now is the idea that I’ll end up in a job that I’ll grow to loathe; that I’ll digress in a town I’ve spent my life in, having not seen the world and experienced different cultures. I don’t want to settle for anything less than the absolute perfection I can envisage now. I hate the idea of settling for less, settling for something that makes me unhappy just because “that’s what the rest of us do”. If I’m only a mere ‘blip’ in time, I sure want my ‘blip’ to count.

Thoughts on the first day of Spring.

So I don’t actually know when the first day of spring technically is, if that’s even a thing (?), but today has felt like the first proper day of spring for me. Instead of being holed up in my room working on coursework or watching films – although I still plan on watching a Harry Potter tonight – I actually got up before 10am on a Sunday and went for a good three mile run. Please bear in mind that although this might be nothing to some of you reading, I’m definitely not a land animal and most definitely more of a water creature, so three miles is a decent amount for me! Whilst on my run I didn’t feel the need to be on my phone or on the Internet, and instead took my time to appreciate the views and to just be alone with my thoughts and myself. It saddens me slightly that in this society a large percentage of us focus our lives around technology. Now a part of this is great, of course it’s amazing that we’ve been given electricity and running water, but I think it’s a debate within itself as to what is too much technology? When do we stop using it to aid us in our everyday lives, and begin to let it more or less run us? I’m as guilty as anyone; I’m constantly checking my texts, or my twitter and instagram, but I don’t think it’s right or healthy. I especially don’t think it’s acceptable when children as young as nine are on the Internet, are able to post what they like and talk to whoever they like. The Internet can be positive if you approach it with care and an understanding of what the consequences and dangers can be, however when used in the wrong way the Internet can be damaging to others and yourself. It upsets me knowing these young children are online because they haven’t yet been taught the rules and risks of safe Internet, they haven’t grasped that the people they’re talking to might not always be who they say they are. The worst thing about it all, is why should they? Why at the precious age of nine and younger should they have to be exposed to such an adult world, it’s not fair and it’s cutting their childhoods even shorter. Although I am conscious that it is necessary for children to be aware of strangers of course, and I am fully aware that we are living in a new age of technology, it still saddens me that less and less children are playing and being creative and more are sat watching the TV, or playing on the iPad, and some even have their own iPhones. Personally, I am going to make a conscious effort to spend less time on my phone and on my laptop, and more time appreciating what’s right in front of me. (She says as she writes this on her laptop, ready to post it online *sigh*).  

Thoughts on my trip to NYC.

In mid-November, my Mum and I took a trip to New York City to celebrate my 18^th birthday, and it was such an amazing experience. The trip was such a whirlwind and so overwhelming, and I think it’s taken this long for me to realise quite how insane it is that I’ve visited the Big Apple. A lot of people mention the size of New York, not just because of how huge the city itself is, but also because of the size of the buildings and the scale of everything over there. However, once you get over the fact that you wont see the tops of any of the buildings around you (unless you crane your neck so far back you think you’re going to break it) there’s so much more to New York than meets the eye. The amount of people roaming the streets makes you realise how little you matter in the grand scheme of things – and I mean that in the nicest way possible! There are thousands upon thousands of people rushing from place to place in the hustle and bustle of the yellow cab ridden streets of New York, and they can range from tourists, to tour guides, from NYPD cops to advocates for the legalisation of Marijuana. You can brush past so many different people in the space of a few seconds, and each one has a different story to tell; part of me is terrified by that and another part thinks it’s very poetic and beautiful. New York really is the city that never sleeps; there are always people and lights wherever you go. It’s a city of dreams, creativity and hope, and I’m grateful that I can say I’ve experienced it and will hopefully have that experience again.