Thoughts on other people’s opinions.

Everyone has an opinion on something, whether it is there preference on who runs the country, or his or her’s opinion on an outfit you choose to wear. Of course everyone’s opinion is valid and everyone is free to think whatever they want to. But it’s come to a time in my life when I need to think about whose opinions really matters to me? Just to be clear I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be allowed to voice their own opinions because everyone should have freedom of speech, but it’s up to each individual as to who’s opinions they respect or take on board. I think in today’s society we tend to care too much about what other people think rather than just thinking about our own happiness – I know I am definitely guilty of this. To an extent I think that we should take other people’s opinions on board, not to change our own opinions but just to get a more rounded view on a subject and to make a more informed decision in some cases. I’m looking at university choices at the moment as it is coming up to the time in my life when I move away and begin to start my own life, and the courses I am looking at aren’t necessarily the vocational degrees which I have previously looked at. When asking for people’s opinions I haven’t necessarily agreed with the replies they’ve given to me and I have taken a couple very personally. However I’ve realised that most of the time these aren’t personal attacks on me and that they are just opinions, and these opinions will help me make sure the decision I make is what makes me happy. Everyone’s opinions are valid, but at the end of the day it is down to you personally to decide what to do in whatever situation you find yourself in. Whether your decision is right or wrong in the eyes of someone else shouldn’t matter if the decision you make is something that you are happy with and feel the most comfortable with. We shouldn’t get pressured into doing things just to make other people happy because it is the ‘social norm’, not one person’s life is the same as another persons, and if we all did the same things and thought in the same way the world would be a very boring place to live. 

Thoughts on travelling.

Yesterday I went to my first UCAS convention to try and broaden my options and see what is really out there for my future. As we were walking through what seemed like thousands of stalls offering free bracelets, pens, chocolates and most importantly prospectus’, we came across one offering gap years and different experiences for people who don’t want to go straight from sixth form to university, or who are unsure of which path to take in the future. Seeing these different options made me see a whole new perspective of what my life and future could look like. Right now I’m scared that once I have gone to university and got my degree, and once I’ve got a job and a place to live, I wont have enough confidence, money or time to travel the world and see new cultures or have new experiences. If I don’t travel in the near future, will I ever get a proper chance to do it again?

Thoughts on universities and the future.

As a seventeen-year-old girl who has just finished her first year of sixth form, I am beginning to seriously look into what the future might hold for me. Do I want to go to university? If so, which university? Which course? What careers could that lead to in the future? If I’m not going to university, what other options are there? OVERWHELMING. But my point is – and I feel like I’m not alone when I say this – I’m only seventeen years old, and I do not feel qualified to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I know this is something that almost everyone has to go through and I’m not blaming anyone when I point out the difficulties we’re most likely all facing, but the unprepared-ness I feel inside does not lessen each time a new prospectus comes along, or another open day is booked. In fact the anxiety becomes more intense, because I know there is another potential future and the decision becomes increasingly harder to make. The question, which I’m facing at this particular moment, is do I follow my head or my heart? The sensible option would be to get a degree in something leading towards specific jobs that will still be around in four years time. The more impractical (yet seemingly more interesting) would be to do a degree in something that I would love to do, and yet it does not end with a specific, nor definite, job in the future. Do I have three years of fun and enjoy university to the maximum, or do I still enjoy university although not as much, knowing that I will almost definitely have a job at the end of it?

However, by complaining about all these ‘troubles’, I don’t want to come across as ungrateful to the help that I have received. My parents have been a great help in letting me talk through the pros and cons of my different courses and universities, and have not put any pressure on making me choose the more sensible option – and I wouldn’t have blamed them if they had! I’m also very grateful for the opportunity to go on to further education, because I know that a lot of people – especially women – don’t have the opportunities which I do which is why I am taking it so seriously and with such care. I guess the future is just a very scary thing for me – especially when it is as uncertain as mine is right now.

Thoughts on #YesAllWomen.

Admittedly, for my first ever post this is quite a brave topic to be tackling, however it is one close to my heart and one which has been spoken about a lot recently in the media. First of all I would just like to say that I am in no way a doctor, or a trained professional of any kind – I am simply a seventeen-year-old girl with some thoughts. If you have twitter or facebook you will – more than likely - have seen the ‘#YesAllWomen’ hash tag trending. If you are not familiar with this, it is basically millions of women and men tweeting about the harsh realities of being a woman in this society, and these tweets range from ‘#YesAllWomen because society would rather tell women to show less skin than tell men to show more respect.’ to personal stories from women who have experienced sexual harassment first hand and who are brave enough to share their stories. However small the stories or statements, they all add up to a much bigger, and clearer picture of what society is really like for women all over the world.

Despite these stories, there have still been criticisms of this movement – some understandable and some not so understandable.

A picture has been taken in Sheffield of a woman completely topless with ‘still not asking for it’ written across her body, as a way of expressing the fact that some men’s excuse for rape and sexual abuse is that the woman was simply ‘asking for it’ by the way she acted, or the way she was dressed, and the woman pictured is simply showing that there is no excuse for rape. Despite this being a small minority of men who do say this, and despite not all men being violent and abusive – some men are violent, and do blame the victim for their crime. Criticisms of this picture and the movement as a whole have been saying that the desires men have are natural and that “there is nothing we can do about them”, and the way to combat this is to “cover up and have modesty to protect yourself from lustful gazes”. I, personally disagree with this statement completely. Naturally, people do have desires towards others, however they should be able to control themselves until the situation is completely consented and comfortable, and everyone should be able to wear whatever they choose without living in fear of someone else’s actions or comments – after all we live in a free world whereby under the law we can say, believe and dress however we feel comfortable. Although despite there being laws allowing this, many women and men feel as though they can’t express themselves because of the threat of what could happen to them. Despite this woman’s message being directed to a minority of people who claim that rape is the woman’s fault, the message is still relevant to the argument that women are still treated differently to men, and that we can’t live in a world of complete equality if we are still blaming the victim. We as a society should be able to know the difference between consent, and not saying ‘no’, basically anything other than ‘yes’ in an unpressurised situation is not consent, and we should be able to have enough respect for ourselves and the other person to not go through with any unwanted actions, despite these ‘natural desires’.